How You Remind Me
by Kaslyna
Summary: Garret after the birth of Renee's child, and how they could get back together. Mild, brief spoilers for Season 4 and Season 5. Rated 'T' for suggestive themes. Enjoy! Read and review.


**A/N: I got this idea as I listened to the song. It's Nickelback's "How You Remind Me". It's a great song, very powerful. (:**

**Disclaimer: Crossing Jordan belongs to Tim Kring and NBC. I own nothing. You have just been disclaimed.**

_Never made it as a wise man_

_I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing Tired of living like a blind man_

_I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling _

He supposed it became a problem around the birth of Noelle Joy, Renee's daughter.

Oh sure, he liked a good drink before; but he controlled it. Never on-the-clock. But after seeing Renee bring her in, shortly after being reinstated at Chief Medical Examiner, made him depressed. More depressed, actually.

She had those exquisite blue gems for eyes. Aquamarines, that's what he called them, and Renee smiled. She had a little downy light-brown fuzz atop her head.

And seeing Noelle made him sadder.

_And this is how you remind me_

_This is how you remind me_

_Of what I really am _

_This is how you remind me _

_Of what I really am _

_It's not like you to say sorry _

_I was waiting on a different story_

_This time I'm mistaken For handing you a heart worth breaking And I've been wrong, I've been down _

_Been to the bottom of every bottle _

_These five words in my head _

_Scream, "Are we having fun yet?" _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah _

_No, no _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah _

_No, no _

"Garret, would you mind watching Noelle?" Renee asks him one day.

He nods, seeing no real way out of it. She grins and two hours later brings the child to him. Noelle sleeps and cries. When he can't take it any longer he gets Jordan and Lily and while they are doting on Noelle, he drowns his loneliness and sorrows into a cheap bottle of whiskey.

Renee returns and sees Noelle with the women and Garret passed out in his office. She frowns. She doesn't ask.

She doesn't have to.

Her heart aches for him.

_It's not like you didn't know that I said I love you and I swear I still do _

_And it must have been so bad _

_Cause living with me must have damn near killed you _

Renee asks Garret to meet her at the park. They push Noelle in the swing and while she naps in her stroller she brings up the topic.

"She's not Eddie's," she admits, voice unemotional. She feels his gaze on her, but she refuses to meet it.

"Garret," now she turns, and she smiles sadly, wistfully, "Garret, she's yours."

His eyes widen in shock and he fumbles, "Eddie...?"

"...Knows," Renee finishes, shrugging, "I met with him, sure. He wanted to reconcile. I told him no, that I was already with somebody."

"Why?" he asks, too calm.

"Because," Renee whispers, "Because the shit hit the fan."

_And this is how you remind me _

_Of what I really am _

_This is how you remind me _

_Of what I really am _

_It's not like you to say sorry _

_I was waiting on a different story _

_This time I'm mistaken_

_For handing you a heart worth breaking And I've been wrong, I've been down _

_Been to the bottom of every bottle _

_These five words in my head _

_Scream, "Are we having fun yet?" _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_No, no _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah _

_No, no_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah _

_No, no _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah _

_No, no _

He drowns himself in tequila and whiskey, listening to jazz that night. The shit had hit the fan. Renee was right. But why? Why had she lied?

Because he had chosen Jordan. Jordan, who was like a daughter, or a sister! And so she, stubborn as always, lied about Noelle. She had lied since that day she waddled into his office heavily pregnant. That must've been October. He knew Noelle was born December 13, so it made sense. She'd never said a word after Noelle's birth. For almost two years she'd lied.

And damn it all to hell, he still loved her.

And damn it all to hell, he didn't blame her.

_Never made it as a wise man _

_I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing _

_And this is how you remind me_

_This is how you remind me _

_This is how you remind me _

_Of what I really am _

_This is how you remind me _

_Of what I really am _

They don't speak about anything that's not work-related for two weeks.

Until she shows up unexpectedly at his apartment one night.

"Noelle's with the sitter," she explains, coming in. She stands by the window.

"Renee..."

"No, Garret," she turns, shaking her head, eyes closed, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Then she starts to cry and he awkwardly pulls her into his arms, burying his head in her soft, soft curly hair.

"I'm sorry," she repeats, sniffling a little. She pulls away and smiles sadly.

"Renee," he whispers, "I don't blame you."

"I'm so, so sorry Garret-"

"No. Renee, I really don't blame you. We broke up, God, in May? You must've just been two months along then. And then let me guess, you found out and you, being you, didn't want to tell me," Garret supplies.

"You missed your calling," she replies, wryly, "You would've made one hell of a fortune teller, Garret."

He chuckles, shrugging, then responds, teasing her, "I try."

He brushes some curls of her face. Garret leans in and kisses her. She kisses back.

It was a brokenly passionate encounter, but it was progress.

_It's not like you to say sorry _

_I was waiting on a different story _

_This time I'm mistaken_

_For handing you a heart worth breaking And I've been wrong, I've been down _

_Been to the bottom of every bottle _

_These five words in my head _

_Scream, "Are we having fun yet?" _

Renee and Noelle moved in with him soon afterwards. They would try, really, really try.

Noelle is asleep and they are dancing to soft jazz records. He smiles and she burrows her head into his chest and sighs.

"I missed you," she tells him truthfully.

"I missed you, too."

"I love you," she smiles, then repeats it, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he smiles back, "I never stopped."

"I've been gone awhile."

"You have," he agrees.

They dance and he finally whispers, "Renee?"

"Yeah?" she peers into his eyes.

"Welcome home."

_Yeah, yeah _

_Are we having fun yet? _

_Yeah, yeah _

_Are we having fun yet? _

_Yeah, yeah _

_Are we having fun yet? _

_Yeah, yeah_

_No, no_


End file.
